Starting over again
My life changed. And that change taught me I can definitely survive. I won’t go into details, but I do know why I got so immersed into this blog world. Why I held onto every single comment from anyone I didn’t know existed until they hit publish comment in my post.
Divorce. That ugly goddamn word. I swore up and down when my parents split, that hurtful word would NEVER end up as describing a part of my adult life. I would work harder, I would love harder, I would do what it takes. The reality, well MY reality,… was realizing, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, hard you love, some people just don’t belong together. Forever.
I won’t talk about the ugly part of my separation cause who the hell cares about that…but yet the bitterly funny part of rejoining this world as a single person.
my first valentine’s post divorce
My first cynical single person moment was working my first holiday as a single person. Valentine’s Day and if you don’t recall, I work in a restaurant. I took phone call after phone call for reservations from men who just:
“love the one they are with” (Good for you, Gag),
“help me because I think I might propose” (Oh no..no no no no no…don’t flipping do it, Double Gag),
“my lady means the world to me” (Yeah, well, did I mention I don’t care, Triple Gag).
All this while oozing out of my mouth…
“How sweet, of course I want to help you dote genuinely sappy love adoration upon the woman who rocks your boat!”
Clearly, I drew the short stick for being the one fielding these types of calls in my emotional condition.
I wore all black that day and told my staff it represented my ninja like abilities to steer clear emotionally from the sickening displays of affection about to enter our doors for a full 14 hours of work.
I’m pretty sure I puked inside my own mouth when I had to help with the proposal. Then I sorta internally freaked out and thought I shouldn’t really touch anything they eat, drink or put on a finger.
What if my divorce vibes rubs off on them?
What if I lose the damn ring he begs me to help hide in something to bring out?
What if she blasts him with a fat NO, points at my face and screams ” I don’t want to end up like her” while I hold her whip cream dessert hiding the ring this man worked all year for with a stupid smile on my face that says…I get it…I don’t want you to end up like me either.
relax. breathe. don’t freak out.
Screeching back to THEIR reality…I smiled through that whole thing as his woman screamed yes, thanked me for being a part of it, and everyone nearby cheered for them.
That day sucked my soul dry. Being around a lot of love between man and woman, man and man, woman and woman…was too much for this newly single gal. BUT…I survived. Of course I did.
This year, I wasn’t so cynical. In fact, I wore a red shirt to celebrate the day.
I allowed myself to be more tolerable. To swim with my head above the water. (Albeit, screaming for a lifeline from the two romantically rowing a boat oblivious to the dramatic person drowning in ankle deep water.)
More things have changed for me this year also….I’m smiling more. But that’s for another post.Can you be an Emotional Ninja Restaurant Manager and keep your sh*t together on #ValentinesDay? Click To Tweet
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Aloha, I’m Selena, The Rambler of My Rambling Thoughts. A storyteller, wife & mother just trying to make it to the next day by hunting for the funny to stay sane! I inhale coffee to keep my brain functioning. I occasionally binge on Netflix. I beg my dog to just leave the toilet paper alone for one second when I’m using the potty, and I pray to all that is holy I can get through a homework session without breaking Google for whatever is making my child smarter for her future. And I humorously navigate my new life as a military spouse without embarrassing my husband wherever the Army sends us. Did I forget anything?