Creatures of any kind FREAK me out. I mentioned previously we currently live in Louisiana.
Spiders. **Shudder**
These things whisk webs fast. They are ninjas. Because no one would walk into one knowingly.
I’ve battled with one recently and won. Trust me, it wasn’t pretty and it took many text messages and batman signals in the sky of distress to Prince Charming (the hubby) and my Bestie First Army Spouse Friend (BFASF).
**SIDEBAR: The ARMY uses acronyms for everything you can look here. NOTHING is just said all the way out. One letter off and you could be talking about the toilets cleaning schedule or going to the wrong place. Haha…I kid, no but really, it’s a new way to speak for someone from the outside.
Keeping the Dead Spider under lock and key (or tupperware and cup)
Back to me, I killed this tiny furry 8 legged varmint with my sink sprayer water thing, a Tupperware and a cup.
Jokingly with worry, I might have said it’s family would find me to seek it’s revenge. Tip toe’ing around with my holy water and sleep in a plastic bubble until I felt safe again would be my game.
Always looking over my shoulder
Fast Forward to today. I was on the treadmill at the community gym, trying to keep my Fitbit steps on point. Out of the corner of my eye, a black arachnid (I googled that) scurried so fast from one end of the room toward my treadmill. Instead of continuing through, to the other side of the room, (isn’t that rational to think it was going from one end to the next?) it stayed UNDER my now machine of doom.
It took EEEEverything in me to finish the rest of my treadmill workout. This had to be a family member of the spider I killed months ago.
I considered telling the woman 2 workout equipments down from me that if I scream and bounce off the treadmill, it’s because a spider hunted for me and spiraled for my face from the speed of the treadmill belt. Then I reconsidered it. She was in her workout zone. I wondered if I did freak out on the treadmill, how that might freak her out…so I reconsidered again. I struggled. Tell her, don’t tell her.
I didn’t tell her. Sure that she was probably a spider whisperer and she would tell me they are misunderstood critters. Whatevs. (eye roll as to not understanding the severity of our situation while burning calories). Yup. I had an imaginary argument with her in my head.
And then my workout timer beeped saying snap out of it. I wiped the handles down that had so much of my anxiety sweat on it. And exit’ed stage left so as to not alarm the nice woman actually enjoying her workout.
I know.. I could have just got off the dang machine when I saw it….but then, maybe that’s what the spider wanted.
May the power of Christ compel you spider!!!
Eyes Closed.
Why wouldn’t I act this way when a spider wants to attack me? (Duh) Click To Tweet
Aloha, I’m Selena, The Rambler of My Rambling Thoughts. A storyteller, wife & mother just trying to make it to the next day by hunting for the funny to stay sane! I inhale coffee to keep my brain functioning. I occasionally binge on Netflix. I beg my dog to just leave the toilet paper alone for one second when I’m using the potty, and I pray to all that is holy I can get through a homework session without breaking Google for whatever is making my child smarter for her future. And I humorously navigate my new life as a military spouse without embarrassing my husband wherever the Army sends us. Did I forget anything?
Instead of being one of those women that carry around mace, you should have a small can of Raid!
Ugh, I am not a spider person either! I can’t even stand to get close enough to kill them though. I hide until my husband comes home. #eatsleepblogrt
LMAO! I don’t love spiders but oddly, I’m okay with them as long as I see them before they see me. In my defense, I have to be the spider slayer because my big, strapping, many husband is terrified of them. Legit. It kind of makes me laugh. But don’t tell him I said that. 😉
Hahahah, you know what? My husband HATES them with a passion. And I’m like…dude…you have to man up and kill the suckers. (All while I’m hiding in another room)
Good for you for finishing your workout. I’m pretty sure my wife would have started looking for a new gym. #happynow
Giiiiiirrrrrllll. Spiders make my soul jump out of my skin. I will scream, cry, & run. Such creepy little creatures. I’ve hit one with a baseball bat before. I have no shame. Can I call a priest for this? Can they stop the demonic fuckers?!?! Lol. Thanks for sharing! #HappyNowLinkUp
*shudder* i hate spiders with a passion but one of my cats LOVE hunting – she would have made a great outdoors cat if it wasnt for the massive roundabout and busy train station we live right next to. – I direct her to the nasty blighters and if its not that she chases cotton buds.. even fetching them out of the bin.
Perfect solution for a household of scaredycats (pardon the pun) #EatSleepBlogRT
Maybe I need to train my puppy to attack them? Mmmmm…good thought.
Hahahaha! We live next to a wooded area, so we get spiders all the time. It’s awful. It was better when we had a cat, though. She at least used to hunt them. Here’s hoping that no more spiders hunt you down!
You are the second person mentioning a cat. This may need to be my next pet…I mean, there’s still hope the puppy will be a spider hunter.
Someone once told me that we are like 5 feet from a spider at any given time. Um, wow. No thank you. Well done on taking care of the demon from the dark though! #happynowlinkup
thanks Jen! I’ve read that too but try to purge it from my mind. Ugh.
I love the cup on top of the container – just incase he escapes!! #DreamTeam
I always think the ones that get hoovered up are going to come back out and get us!! Well done for keeping on that treadmill. I may have ran a mile. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x
It was rough trying to stay put and disciplined. Haha.
I hate spiders! I always get my husband to kill them for me, death by Hoover always works well! #SharingtheBlogLove
I’m ok with the tiny money spider but anything bigger and I’ll have to call in the hubby. #bestandworst
Hi Selena, oh my! I would have frozen on the spot had a spider come anywhere near me let alone settled under the treadmill I was using. I freeze in terror when there is a spider in the house. I have managed to take some photos of spiders when out and about as a form of self imposed therapy. It makes me realise they aren’t the big back creature I imagine in my mind.
Thank you for linking up with the #MMBC.
xx
Honestly, I’m shocked I didn’t either. Haha.
I’m not a fan of spiders either. I’ve lived in Texas where the spiders are big & scary, in South Carolina where the bugs are big and a plenty, and when I moved to Washington (state) I thought I was safe, but no. The spiders here are out of this world! I’ve walked into my fair share of spider webs here. Did you hear me!?!? I’ve walked into MULTIPLE spider webs!! That is almost worse than being near a spider.
Wishing you a spider-free week!
XO
A friend of mine told me we there are at least 10 spiders around us at all times. Or something crazy like that. Ugh. I know there are nice ones, like Charlotte Web…but I’m not Wilbur and don’t know how to look at them as friends.
I’m not a spider fan at all! It’s something about the speed at which they move from one place to the next – so unpredictable! Luckily my husband doesn’t mind them, so as long as he’s around to remove them I’m ok! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
Ew, yes…that quick movement and not knowing which direction they will be doing it is very unnerving. Especially if they want to come AT you vs, staying in their own space. Haha.
I don’t like them at all. I just can’t stand to be in the same room as them and have to send my husband in to deal with them. Thankfully we’ve not had any for ages. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
i seriously had to quickly scroll past the main image as i really really hate spiders!! I now feel itchy. HELP!!
Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime