Wah-Baby here.
Don’t invite me to anything scary. Yah, no. Just don’t.
I’m the biggest Wah-baby on the planet. Halloween pranksters would have a field day with me.
I hate EVERYTHING scary about Halloween. However, I love decorating (how “scary” is my window?) and making cute little craft things for my kid and her friends at school.
Because that won’t make my heart pack up and take the next train out of Scaredshitlessville. I live to counter myself when possible.
Case in point…I watch scary shows on TV. With trepidation, but I still watch it. It started because I wanted to be like the cool kids and get out of my Disney watching only swiming pool. What better way then to start with Walking Dead. Toy Story and Monsters Inc were sandwiched in there to remind me that this was justttttt a show. It’s notttttttt real.
Holy Begeesus! This part of the show about made me wet myself! And this was the first episode.
I won’t even tell you how long it took me to watch this barely one minute scene. Embarrassing really read more.
{Blah blah doesn’t register haunted blah blah} cabins? Sure why not!
One Halloween weekend back yonder, we decided to go camping at one of our military rec centers located on a beach back home in Hawaii. During the day, all the fliers sharing information for it’s Haunted Cabins seemed like the best idea ever.
Lil Rambler needed persuading. Easy when the sun is shining down on you while swimming like mermaids in the ocean that life is happy and scare free.
We went early to get a place in line. Sun hadn’t gone down yet. Fellow Halloween’ers came in regular clothes and other got all costumed up.
Oh, cute, look at that Batman costume.
Oh, haha, funny, someone is a minion.
Then all the spit in my mouth dried up. And went to my palms.
Creatures from the reason we were there came out to get the crowd riled up before they opened the gates of “Turn around now you fool”
The last thing you should do is look down and away. Because, they smell that fear out and mess with you.
Imagine a grown woman AND a little 7 year old trying to disappear into their man person. While something breathes on your neck. Through his mask. And says “Turn around, I won’t bite”.
Oh, H.E.L.L to the N.O.
Did we walk away then? Of course not. Because, my brain was probably still swimming in the ocean at 2 in the afternoon. And convince my kid that Maskpoopieface was the scariest thing.
They had four cabins you walked through with each getting progressively scary. With an option to peace out after each one.
We made it barely through cabin one.
If it’s true about Inside Out, Disgust & Wah-baby had coffee discussing my poor execution of being an adult the next morning.
I never learn.
It’s a year later and we are now in transit to our new duty station and make a quick holiday of it with my husbands family in South Carolina. My mother in law worked at Carowinds and we thought it would be great to visit her and the new show they had going on at their theater.
I should have made my mother in law clarify her level of scare to mine.
But I didn’t.
Did I realize the heroic blood that ran through my father in law who doesn’t even know what the word scare means?
No. No I didn’t.
Do you see this advertisement?
I didn’t.
This amusement park turned itself into a scary park full of thrill seekers who love to scare other thrill seekers (there is no other reason I can think of to call these people).
It wasn’t pretty people. I know now, I’m not built for this scare stuff.
I won’t sit here and tell you we shamelessly purchased a NO BOO necklace for the kid.
And I won’t tell you that the kid and I held it up like the holy cross trying to compel EVERY.SINGLE.PIECE.OF.SHIRT looking to make us poop our pants.
I’ll end this on a funny
I’m tense. And the best way I can think to finish this Halloween piece of scare for you is to watch something that makes me seriously almost pee myself. The good kind of pee myself.
No, really. There is a good kind of pee yourself!
How do you all fair with Haunted Houses?
Boo you later!
Aloha, I’m Selena, The Rambler of My Rambling Thoughts. A storyteller, wife & mother just trying to make it to the next day by hunting for the funny to stay sane! I inhale coffee to keep my brain functioning. I occasionally binge on Netflix. I beg my dog to just leave the toilet paper alone for one second when I’m using the potty, and I pray to all that is holy I can get through a homework session without breaking Google for whatever is making my child smarter for her future. And I humorously navigate my new life as a military spouse without embarrassing my husband wherever the Army sends us. Did I forget anything?
“Imagine a grown woman AND a little 7 year old trying to disappear into their man person.”
Favorite line^ hahaha
OK, I love that last clip, as my husband actually showed it to me, because he is a huge Ellen and Andy fan. But still, I am with you on the scary stuff. Just not a fan! #happynowlinkup
I don’t scare easily, but that said, I do understand your fear. I feel like the same in the middle of Trafalgar Square with all the hideous flappy winged rats AKA pigeons. Makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. I do hope you manage to avoid Halloween horrors next year #happynowlinkup
I wish I was you Lisa. And you now what…I cannot do BIRDS…and my in laws are from England so I’ll have to remember that if we all cross the pond to go visit.
I stink at them. I got old and my reflex is to kick people when they scare me. It has stopped the children dead in their tracks a few times, but the poor workers at haunted houses do not deserve my kicks. They are just doing their jobs.
Jen…I so so know what you mean. I’ve accidentally ripped some shirts in fear and felt horrible. The next day.
Haha… this is so true no matter what you say!
I’m so with you on avoiding haunted houses. Though I avoid scary shows too. They just get to me too much now that I have kids. Go ahead and call me a wah-baby, too!
I’m not at all phased by horror movies and thought I would be fine in a haunted house, but a couple of years ago we went on a ghost tour in Edinburgh to some underground vaults and I completely and utterly lost it!! I was terrified, despite not seeing anything to scare me, I was just a wreck! Thank you for sharing with #momsterslink
I’m sorry, I’m so petrified of haunted house type stuff, I’m too scared to read the whole post…. what a scaredy cat eh? #eatsleepblogrt
I used to be quite brave but I was a right scaredy cat this year watching hoor movies. I know there is no way I could handle a haunted house and my 4 year old would be a wreck! #eatsleepblogrt
I’m brave “under fire”…if that makes sense. And by that I mean, if I have to save my kid, gloves off, eyes wide open, I’ll punch a monster out. But without that, nope…noooooo way. =)
I am with you on avoiding the scary stuff! i have never enjoyed haunted houses, I have never enjoyed slasher horror movies. I’ve had many friends and co-workers over the years who think I am a sore loser because I will not go to haunted houses with them at Halloween. Nope, I ain’t going!
Cheers to that Redhead =)